A few weeks ago I printed out the lesson for children’s Sunday School and I really wanted to do something above and beyond for You(Jesus) and the class.
The topic was compassion and I wanted the kids to really get the concept. Meanwhile I was trying to understand the good, pleasing perfect will lesson Paul talked about in Corinthians. I wanted to give you more and I wanted more from you. Not material things but understanding. Maybe my motives are not pure? Maybe I just want to know for the sake of knowledge? Am I coming from a sinful place?
I was talking to a friend and I said the lessons were boring. I shouldn’t have said that. I did get annoyed when someone suggested I help out at the earlier service as there are more children and I got annoyed with that because I don’t think my calling is children’s ministry. I shouldn’t have thought or allowed my flesh to entertain those ideas either. I’m called to do whatever you tell me to do. This may be a steppingstone for becoming fisher of men. And if not, I will continue to serve and it will be a sacrifice of praise.
So I thought about getting a puppy (borrowing) to explain and demonstrate compassion. Was that wrong? A few days later I was praying for a friend and I remembered she owns a rabbit. Wasn’t that you? Guiding Me? I had to get up the courage to reach out and text, then get up the courage to actually call her and talk to her. And as I stumbled with every word, she told me her rabbit wasn’t an option. So I thought… Oh well. Was I supposed to stop there? But no. My friend told me about another person who has a kid- friendly rabbit. So again, I have to get up the courage to text then call and see if she agrees. Not to mention there were several other people, directors, lead teachers, etc that I had to get approval for.
All the hoops I jumped through. Read the lesson like 5 times. Looked up different ideas online several times. Had index cards I prepared. Studied to show myself approved. 2 Timothy 2:15 Be diligent to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who doesn’t need to be ashamed, correctly teaching the word of truth.
Went above and beyond for You (Jesus) and the 2 children that typically come to the 2nd service. Yes, that’s right, only two children usually come to 2nd service Sunday school. I didn’t care; I wanted to do something for them that was fun. Get them excited about Sunday School. I left the house on Sunday and had to go back because I forgot my notes. The owner of the rabbit was running a little late but that was not a problem. She graciously sat through a 2nd service just to showcase her little friend, CoCo. The end result of all this…
No one came to class. Not one child was at 2nd service Sunday school class.
So in my last stitch effort I thought, OK, maybe I can salvage this. Went to the youth pastor thinking I could share CoCo and talk to the young adults about compassion. He graciously said, thanks but no thanks.
I was choking back tears as I walked away. I was choking back tears when I went back to the room to clean up and turn off the lights and leave. I cried all the way home and cried for an after that. As I write this, I am crying.
What was the purpose? I don’t understand: what is my lesson here? I gave 100%, more like 110%, and all for what?
Everything you do has a purpose. Where is it?
Here is what I came up with-
I did your good, well pleasing and sometimes we can’t see your perfect will. 1 Corinthians 12:2 Therefore, do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.
The outcome is in your control. I have no way of guaranteeing any good ending. The outcome is not my responsibility. Because I don’t have that kind of power. Was I out of your will? Did I miss the mark? Psalm 19:21 Many plans are in a person’s heart, but the Lord’s decree will prevail.
This is so typical… I pour out everything and I am rejected. I give it my all, with all my heart and fail. I looked into my heart and my motives, from what I could tell, were pure and from what I can tell I am in your good and pleasing will. I am once again rejected. I don’t think you are rejecting me but rejection is rejection and it hurts. The preceived failure felt like rejection. Psalm 88:4 Lord, why do you reject me? Why do you hide your face from me?
Where is the lesson here, Lord?
- No matter the outcome, I will give it all I have. Ecclesiastes 9:10 Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; Colossians 3:23 Whatever you do, do it from the heart, as something done for the Lord and not for people.
- God is responsibe for the outcome. Daniel 4:35 All the inhabitants of the earth are counted as nothing, and he does what he wants with the army of heaven and the inhabitants of the earth.
There is never a situation where God has lead someone to do something and it is for nothing at all. He has reasons and we must have peace despite not knowing why. My peace is not in knowledge and understanding of why this outcome or another. My peace is in Christ.
Colossians 3:15 And let the peace of Christ to which you were also called in one body rule your hearts. And be thankful.
Sometimes he reveals the reasons and other times he does not. It doesn’t change the fact that he is and will always remain worthy of it all.
Psalm 18:3 I called to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I was saved from my enemies.
Your perfect will doesn’t always look like what we think it should look. It is your perfect will the day someone dies. Your perfect will is exactly what happens. Sometimes, we see it, many times we don’t. But I must be focused on you. Not on outcomes.
Habakkuk 3: 17-18
Though the fig tree does not bud and there is no fruit on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though the flocks disappear from the pen and there are no herds in the stalls, 18 yet I will celebrate in the Lord; I will rejoice in the God of my salvation! 19 The Lord my Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like those of a deer and enables me to walk on mountain heights!
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